Protecting Your Time: Why Saying No Is Self-Care.
Welcome back – I'm so happy you're here!
I truly appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this post. When you really think about it, time is one of the most precious things we have. There's a sort of comfort in knowing that time will always go on – it doesn't stop or slow down for anyone or anything, and it only moves forward. We have countless conversations about what we eat, how much we sleep, and what kind of exercise we do, but I rarely find myself discussing how sacred our time really is. We can't get it back. The way we spend our time reflects our values and, more importantly, how we value ourselves.
The Trap of Other People's Schedules
Personally, I find it too easy to get swept up in the craziness of the crowd. What is everyone else doing? What do people need and expect from me? When I'm in this headspace, I feel like I have nowhere near enough time in a day. It can feel like the world is moving too fast and I'm going to fall behind. At the root of this problem is a simple truth: I'm running on other people's schedules instead of protecting my time.
Saying no to people isn't mean – in fact, it can be incredibly healthy. As much as I hate turning people down or declining plans, I've learned it's far more worthwhile to say no when I'm feeling drained or overextended. This way, I can really show up the way I want to when I do say yes. Creating boundaries around your time helps you protect your peace. Wellness isn't about doing the most – it's about getting the most out of what you do and choosing what matters. Take what serves you and leave the rest.
A Framework for Emotional Time Management
Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. One approach I find helpful is doing a quick check-in on where my time and energy have been going and how they make me feel. Practicing emotional time management skills can help you maximize your days and ensure you're truly working to cultivate the life you want and deserve.
Here are some questions I ask myself:
What's draining me?
Is it necessary?What greater end is this pursuing, and is that worthwhile to me?
Did I actually agree to this?
What energizes me?
Am I creating enough space for the things that energize me?
How do I want to feel?
What activities help me feel that way?
2. Recognizing the Warning Signs
Another sign that I haven't been protecting my time is when I catch myself practicing revenge bedtime procrastination – staying up late scrolling on my phone even when I'm exhausted because I feel a need to reclaim some time for myself that I didn't get earlier in the day. This only leaves me feeling more drained. When I notice this pattern, it's a clear signal that something needs to change. I need to shift my energy so I don't feel the need to escape the chaos of my day.
Building Sacred Time Into Real Life
While my ideal use of time would be filled with yoga, cooking, and outings with friends, life and responsibility do get in the way. Even so, there are ways to build in time for enjoyment and keep your time sacred.
One thing I've done is add a daily reminder on my phone at 12:30 telling me to take a break and relax. I'll be honest – I haven't actually followed this reminder yet, but the intention is there, which is the first and most important step. There's also nothing wrong with telling someone you need to check your calendar before getting back to them.
Another way to make your day feel more fulfilled is finding activities that feel expansive. Things like journaling or going on a walk can be brief, 15 minute activities that provide a great reset and feel truly restorative. At the end of the day, it's important to make sure you're doing things for yourself, even if it's only once a week.
The Bottom Line
Every time you protect your time, you reaffirm your own worth. Preserving your peace like this isn't selfish – it's sustainable.
